I can’t keep myself from falling for you.

I have to stop myself from gaining feelings unless you do too. I can’t slip, I won’t slip. Feelings are irrelevant, I keep telling myself that.

you make me all smiley and whatnot.

I’m going to kill myself. I seriously hate people.

What’s the point of continuing on with school, or even life at that.

What am I gonna do? Get good grades finish up this school year continue on with high school getting an acceptional gpa probably be on the honor roll then go to college a state college somewhere not too far from home. Maybe even a UC, but a school not too expensive. Major in something that I like and probably love doing. might even meet someone along the way of getting my masters, fall in love multiple times. Go to parties get wasted and drunk. Meet that special someone get married blahblahblah fuckin blah. Okay? I don’t know if I will ever really be content with going on like that. It seems so boring, so normal. If I have it planned out why the fuck go through with it? I think it’s because I want the satisfaction of saying I made it. The satisfaction of proving all the people who are doubting me now wrong. Have them think “fuck, I was wrong about her.”
&It’s also because I refuse to give up.

I have yet to find out what I’m striving for; making my parents proud, making money, buying a house of my own and having kids. Something.

It tells you whether or not you’d want to go on a second one. 

I mean I do, but I don’t okay? So don’t ruin this, ugh.